I feel so trapped living in America. That I have to follow a pattern, that I have to think through every decision, that I have to go through life buying and taking and living selfishly. I want to sell everything I own and move but how could God bless that? It’s still so selfish, me not using the money for someone else’s good. Besides, shouldn’t I be smart and use that money to pay off student debt? I just feel like I’m drowning or running in circles. I want to travel and explore and live paycheck to paycheck in a complete dump of a home in a third world country and go hiking in mountains and swimming in streams and the pools of waterfalls. I dream of napping in trees and learning languages and having a dog and I want to fit all of my belongings in a backpack. I don’t want a cell phone or college or a closet full of clothes. I know I’m supposed to “bloom where I’m planted” but I don’t feel like I’m blooming. I want to be grateful for my life but I feel so spoiled and I just don’t like how I’m living.